


For the Joy

by PatchworkIdeas



Series: GatheringFiKi's 12 Days of Christmas 2020 [9]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Ice Skating, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28137360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas
Summary: Fili promised himself he would never compete again.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Series: GatheringFiKi's 12 Days of Christmas 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054739
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: GatheringFiKi - 12 Days Of Christmas 2020





	For the Joy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by GatheringFiKi's gorgeous Photoset!
> 
> Shown here with permission, and the original post can be found on [Tumblr.](https://gatheringfiki.tumblr.com/post/637773332239007744/12-days-of-christmas-2020-day-5-special-thanks)

* * *

The rink was busy that afternoon. Fili loved days like this, regardless of how much extra work they meant - and not, as people might think, because of the money. He only took what he needed to live comfortably, to keep the rink in business.  
No, it was the atmosphere, the joy and laughter. Afternoons like this reminded him of everything he loved about skating, everything that had pulled him to it as a child, before the real world caught up to him.

It was also very, very different from the mornings. Fili hadn’t really wanted to take the deal, was sick of coaches and their screams for perfection, but the money was good, better than good even, and if he could make the rink affordable for kids of all walks of life, to give them a place to fly over the ice and escape their troubles, then that was worth his discomfort.

Didn’t mean he had to like it.

Among those who trained professionally, there was only one he could actually stand. Kili. Dark hair and eyes, but sunshine personified. He often came by in the afternoon, playing and teaching the kids little tricks.

Kili still had that joy inside, and as much as Fili tried, he couldn’t help but watch him, couldn’t help but be drawn to him.

The way he laughed so freely, without a care in the world.  
The way he flew, gracefully and free, as if gravity couldn’t keep him down.  
The way he fell and got back up, no anger in his face, just a roguish smile and determination in his eyes.

He was everything Fili had loved, everything he wished he could have kept.

Perhaps that was why Fili found himself trying out Kili’s routine, instead of just skating and jumping however he felt, as he always did after everyone left. The ice had never stopped calling him, it was the people and the pressure that came with it that had driven him away.

It really shouldn’t have surprised him that today was the day a little girl had forgotten her favorite scarf, and Kili had offered to sweet talk Fili to let them look for it.

Considering Kili had just caught him doing his routine, there wasn’t much sweet talking needed.  
(Not that there would have been in any case, he never could stand seeing kids unhappy.)

And yet, instead of being angry, throwing around accusations of theft and sabotage in the coming tournaments, Kili just laughed. Asked where he had learned. And between that open friendliness, and the way the little girl’s eyes shined as if he was someone special, someone inspiring, the story came out while they searched.

Fili had fallen in love with skating at a young age. Had loved it with all his heart.

Had the talent for it too.

His family was quick to support him, to get him the best coaches.

Fili excelled. For a while. 

But it turned out the pressure of professional skating wasn’t for him, so he opened his own rink instead, to just enjoy the skating itself, and bring that joy to others.

“There’s more to it, isn’t there?” Kili asked him as the little girl got on the bus home, her blue scarf warm around her neck. “It’s a nice children story, but...”

Kili looked unsure if he should continue, genuine sorrow in his eyes, and perhaps it was that which made Fili open up, tell the parts no one had ever wanted to know.

“We both now how hard the scene is. How competitive. My family insisted that I owed them excellence, an olympic gold medal or two. In the end the pressure got to me. Can’t exactly skate when you break down crying on the ice. They’ve never quite forgiven me, but...” Fili gestured to the rink, a bittersweet smile on his face as he looked at what he had built himself instead. “I prefer this. I love skating for the joy of it, for the feeling. And this way I can bring it to other’s too. That’s more important to me than any medal could ever be.”

“I agree. Skating should be fun, and I’m glad you didn’t let anyone’s expectations for you ruin that. Maybe we could skate together sometimes? Just for fun. I miss that too, to be honest.”

And Fili believed him. Believed him while they danced together in the evening, sometimes freestyle, sometimes with a plan. Believed him when they closed the rink down together and couldn’t help but invite each other to a drink of hot chocolate, just to warm up a bit.

Believed him right until Kili’s smile fell, and his desperation showed, and he asked what Fili had promised he would never do again.

“Sybil fell. Her ankle isn’t broken, but she can’t risk a permanent injury. I’m out for the season if I can’t find a partner, and you are the only one I can ask. You already know my routines, and we work well together. _Please_ , just until the end of the season.”

And Fili, damn him for his big heart and the way he could never say no to those beautiful eyes, still believed him.

He was a fool alright, but perhaps there was something poetic that it was love that brought him back to the ice, to the eye of the public, to everything he had left behind - when it had been so called love that had chased him out in the first place.

That didn’t mean he didn’t set his boundaries.

Kili’s coach was luckily not one of the screaming kinds, but it was still grating for all of them. Fili refused demands - advice, okay, but he would never let himself be treated like a rag-doll again, just a piece of meat that should deliver perfection.

The evenings were better. Kili never demanded anything from him, lest of all perfection. Instead he made him laugh in the middle of a set, helped him up when he fell, and flew with him over the ice as if there was nowhere he would rather be.  
Perhaps there wasn’t.

The next tournament came too soon, just weeks to ensure they were in tip top shape. Fili wanted to be good, wanted to be good enough for Kili, and he hated that feeling, hated how it brought him back to pain and misery and a life he had wanted to leave behind.

Kili noticed, of course. 

“It’s okay, Fili. It’s about the joy remember? The judges don’t matter. The people out there don’t matter, though I can assure you they will love us either way - they don’t look for perfection. What matters is how we feel. And I want you to dance with me, like we do in the evenings. Fly with me Fili, and let’s leave everything else behind.”

The speech did little to calm Fili’s nerves, as much as he tried. Too much baggage, too many memories of places just like this and familiar faces he would never be enough for.

Luckily, their turn came before his brain could fully convince him that Kili had made a mistake, should not have asked him. Should not have asked this of him.

For the first time in years, the ice didn’t feel steady and safe under his feet. But Kili smiled, and kissed him, chaste, gently, as if there was no one there but them, and joked with him until the crowd fell away and nothing but the music and the ice and each other existed anymore.

And when they came in on fifth place, the shaky start a juxtaposition to their otherwise well done set, Kili smiled, and kissed him again, truly happy with something that would have been impossible to accept for his family.

It was that joy that brought him back again. The joy in Kili’s eyes, the joy when they flew together, the joy they had brought countless people watching and cheering, inspiring them to try and learn.

They competed together long after that first season, fan-favorites for the way they smiled and laughed like they meant it, played off mistakes as if they didn’t matter and never hid how they felt.

He might not have brought home gold medals, but he didn’t need them.  
Just Kili, soft in the mornings before they opened their rink, the laughing children, stars in their eyes when they asked Fili and Kili to dance for their captivated audience, and warm evenings spent together, on the ice and off, flying together and kissing smiles and hot chocolate off each other’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, when I first saw this gorgeous set I couldn't help but think of [Dragonsquill's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonsquill/pseuds/Dragonsquill) wonderful story ["The Fifth"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534750). I deliberately didn't reread that until after writing this, and put my own spin on our favorite boys ice skating, but if you enjoyed this one I would recommend you check that story out too!


End file.
